lost a friend

   Firsts are valuable because of new connection in my mind and new feelings my inside. When I taste my firsts, one with me comes along this connection. Firsts are shared and arisen through the world. As if cosmos encourages us to go on and taste them a lot. New memories are born. They are open to be spreaded. Whenever I think of these firsts, that person comes in my mind. There is a new connection child of old connection.

   I used to stick to someone I had adventures with him. As if all firsts have to be related with that person. This thought ultimately makes me think that person would be my friend. Close to discover, close to talk about interests and close to live together. I mean, it can means a lot for me. To save memories, many videoes and many fotographs we have. Suddenly, to see one of them always take me away further. These are so important that I can tie up with some numbers and some colours. That turns firsts into a part of myself. They make me alive to take the bull by the horns.

But..

   Slowly something has to be changed. Maybe it happens willingly maybe not. It makes me feel completely miss. I can see how dead my brain that it tries to signal me to stand. Now, missing parts are born to lose. Something has changed. And that person has gone. I feel weird. How I stick to these firsts that I miss them in desperate. But this goes on to fill up my inside the self ideas in a bad way. These memories may be had with someone else, and it is the worst but realistic point of it.

It is like we were born to forget. We always forget and find a new one. While it relieves me, it disappoints me at the same time.

I lost my that 2 special videos like I lost my friend. I am seeing the memories fade to black.